Sunday, September 23, 200703:09 AM
It has been a while since I posted to this blog...
A lot happening in the growth of my Internet Marketing Business Career. Check out the "new" pictue. Gosh my hair turned Gray....
I realize now the importance of what is called Web 2.0....
Social.business Marketing with the influence on my favorite Dubject, Realtionship Marketing.
I joined a powerful, fun and rewarding Network, Apsense
And one of the best investments of the year was my attendance to the Worl Internet Main Ecent, held in San Francsico. 5 days of meeting with 500 successful Marketere form around the World was thrilling.
Just the netwoking was worth every penny,
You have an opportunity to warch all the presentations in the comfort of your home by purchasing the complete video Transcription. Just Click Here
And I will be launching a Membership site, Beginners Marketing Class, in November.
Subscibe ro our Free Bi-monthly Ezine to stay up to date.
Also through all of this learning process I am learning the technical side, SEO etc.
So I need to put a link here according to "my Instructions from Technorati.
Technorati Profile
Also using Squidoo and all of its bebefits have been helpful.
I really encourage you to Join for FREE, and capitalize on this resource.
Just Click Squidoo
Enough for Today...
be back soon
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink | related link
Thursday, July 12, 200706:10 PM
The following post intrigued me because of the recent discussion Thread on our Focus Society of Over Achievers
I realize that the last post was again from Brian Kim, but they have been right on focus with our concepts of being able to define OURSELVES and Giving ourselves permission to build A Relationship before we Market
The Traps of The Inner Circle
Brian Kim 2007
Human beings are social creatures. We like to be in the “in” with other people. What do I mean by that? I simply mean that we like to be inside the inner circle.
Make no doubt about it. Inner circles exist and we become all too aware of them the moment we start school and start socializing with our peers. This continues on after school, into our workplace, our place of worship, etc. Look at any social venue where there’s a consistent gathering and you’ll always find these types of inner circles. Nobody really acknowledges their existence but we all know it’s there.
Those who are in it know they are in it.
Those who know they’re not in it, know they’re not in it, and try desperately to get in.
Still there are those who think they’re in it, but in reality, are far from it.
It’s this exclusivity, this scarcity that gives the inner circle its essence, its power, its allure that so many people are drawn to.
The need to belong is very strong. We want to feel accepted by our fellow peers. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to want to be part of an inner circle but when you look at it from a deeper angle, it proves to bring along with it a couple of traps that many people fall into.
In any inner circle, there is an unspoken understanding of the profiles of each person within the group. This is essential because it gives the illusion of stability in terms of status within the inner circle. John is this kind of person. Adam is this kind of person. Bob is that kind of person.
BUT, when you start rocking the boat, it shakes up the “stability” of the inner circle and when you start to change yourself and try to become more than what you’ve been profiled as by the inner circle, it threatens the harmony of the group and it’s natural for other people in the inner circle to try to “put you back in your place” so to speak.
If there ever comes a point in time where you’re faced with this type of situation (and it probably has and probably will again and again), this will prove to be a pivotal crossroad in your life. Do you give up your individuality for the group or do you stick to your guns and get banished from the inner circle and face isolation, become an outsider, an outcast, and lose your social net?
Our brains don’t really like it when we are cut off from others so it tends to sabotage our behavior via compromise, and this compromise comes in many forms whether it’s in terms of our beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, actions, etc. This is why it’s so important to watch who you associate with in the first place.
You all know the typical story. John Smith is a nice guy with good morals and manners, but he starts associating with the wrong crowd. After some time, he eventually becomes part of their inner circle. It becomes far easier for him to adopt the ideals and principles of the inner circle than to stand on his own morals and beliefs that he had before entering the group than to risk alienation and isolation.
And this is where so many people fall into the traps of the inner circle. Traps they could’ve prevented themselves from ever falling into. What traps am I speaking of?
The trap of definition, the trap of approval, and the trap of validation.
The Trap of Definition
So many people have no idea of who they are or what they stand for as a person so it becomes really easy for them to adopt a definition of who they are from a group. They find a group they like and they become part of the inner circle and rely on it to define who they are.
Take the above example of John Smith. If he had a solid idea of who he was as a person and what he was all about (let’s just say for example’s sake that it was characteristic of an upstanding citizen), he never would’ve been involved with the wrong crowd, but that unstableness led to a need to fill that void.
You have to know yourself BEFORE you start choosing a particular group to associate with. When one’s identity is created and tied within a group, it becomes a very dangerous trap for that person.
One could argue that it could be a good thing provided that he likes the identity of the group but what if he decides to change? What if he decides he’s another person? It would be very hard for him to pry himself from his group because his identity was created and tied to it in the first place.
Had he created his identity FIRST on his own volition, he could easily pry himself from the group and leave to go to another that would fit his new persona.
The first trap of the inner circle is that you rely on it to give you your identity. You have no sense of self so you get it from others and it becomes a part of you, making it very hard for you to get out of that group should you choose to do so in the future.
The Trap of Validation
This is tied into the trap of definition. When we define ourselves by a group, we need it to constantly validate who we are as a person and this greatly undermines our personal power.
It’s nice to feel validated by others but we must realize that we have to validate ourselves. This is so crucial because if you don’t do this, you depend on validation from others like a drug and you’d be willing to do anything for it, including giving up your own identity, morals, beliefs, principles, etc. for it
The Trap of Approval
This is a VERY subtle trap, but a powerful one nonetheless. Many of us would like to do something that could very well potentially “rock the boat” within the inner circle, but we hold back for the sake of the group because their approval of the status quo is more important than approval of ourselves.
Whether we know it or not, most of our decisions in life were not really our own so to speak. Most of us made our decisions by first viewing the repercussions of following through on those decisions from the eyes of those in our inner circle, more specifically whether they would be approved by those people. As a result, we limit ourselves because we need that approval from others before we undertake any significant venture in our lives.
This article is not intended to make you a lone wolf. No man is his own island. It’s just to point out the dangers of the inner circle – the danger of trying to give yourself an identity via the inner circle and the subtle trap of hollow validation and the need for approval from the group that has the potential to undermine your personal power and restrict your life.
It’s funny because people will do all sorts of things to penetrate an inner circle. Sacrifice their bodies, time, ideals, principles, etc., just to get in and the ironic part is that once they are in, the magic that they felt on the outside of the inner circle is gone. They’re in the circle now and all they try to do is make it harder for the next person to get in just as those prior to himself made it hard for him to get in as well.
Becoming part of an inner circle should be a natural thing. You shouldn’t force it because if you’re trying to force going in it, you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons. You only want that validation, that feeling, that “in” feeling of acceptance and that definition because you cannot define, validate or accept yourself in the first place. You need others to do it for you.
When you get a grip on yourself, learn to accept and trust yourself, in other words have a clear sense of self and not need validation from others and only from yourself, that is when you free yourself and join the ranks of the unintentional inner circle – the one that’s comprised of those who know who they are, trust themselves, and ultimately accept themselves.
When you go inside this new inner circle, it becomes very easy to penetrate other inner circles. It’s as if you have a season pass because you’ve broken free of the addiction that most people have, the need to be validated by others and it’s often this exact need that prevents most people from ever getting in the inner circle in the first place. When you have a clear sense of who you are, what you stand for, you filter all the inner circles to find the ones that clearly suit you and when you accept yourself and don’t need validation from others, it makes you stand out and ironically make people want to invite you into their inner circle without you ever asking for it.
Know yourself so you don’t need any group to define you. Accept yourself so you don’t need the hollow validation. Trust yourself so you don’t need the approval of others.
Know yourself, trust yourself, accept yourself, and you’ll find yourself entering the inner circles that fit you like a glove and avoid ever stepping foot into the traps of the inner circle that befall so many others.
We Thank Brian Kim again for his insight and clarity.
Network Marketing and Social Interaction are so very complex and so very simple at the same Time.
We encourage you to Visit Brian's Site
Brian Kim.Net
[ 1 comment ] ( 2 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink | related link
Thursday, July 05, 200708:08 AM
The following is an Article by a brilliant young man, Brian Kim.
He has wrtten a Book dear to my heart, "The Hidden Secret of Think & Grow Rich"
He also has a wonderful Forum anyone interested in self-direction will enjoy,
Brian Kim's Mastermind Forum
Here is Brian's Article
Whenever I hear the phrase, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”, I cringe a little inside. I cringe because it’s an incomplete and potentially misleading phrase.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s some truth to that phrase, but the majority of people fall victim to the belief that you just have to be well connected and everything else will fall into place. Shake a lot of hands, collect a bunch of business cards, fill your cell phone with numbers, and you’re all set.
Not entirely true. There are a couple of hidden issues here that need to be dealt with in order to really understand the common myths behind networking.
So let’s tackle the first issue. Quantity.
I see this all the time. People bragging that they know x amount of people, showing how their cell phone is filled to the brink, but just because you know many people does not necessarily mean you’re better off than someone who knows a handful. I’m a big fan of quality over quantity. In the short run, that approach doesn’t seem effective, but in the long run, it works. The error in pursuing quantity over quality when it comes to networking is that you don’t spend enough time cultivating quality relationships. There’s only so much time in the day. There’s only so much time you can spend building relationships. And if you try to spread yourself over a large number of people, nothing ever really gets done. It’s like trying to wave a magnifying glass all day, hoping that something will catch fire. You have to choose wisely who you wish to network with, who you wish to build quality relationships with, and then take it from there.
One of the most obvious perks that people find with networking is that it helps you find jobs. The whole idea of networking is often called “the hidden job market”. If you don’t take the time to build quality relationships, then you’re no better off than a stranger asking people for a job. Maybe you shook hands, exchanged some words, and got each other’s card, but the fact remains, there’s no “solid” relationship. You can’t just go up to a person you don’t have a quality relationship with and ask for help looking for a job and except great help to come your way. What’s going through the other persons’ mind is – Why should I? I don’t even know you that well.
The whole point of networking is to develop quality relationships and when you take the time to cultivate them, then you can grow your network through those relationships you’ve created, so you don’t have to establish yourself back from square one when dealing with an entirely “new” person.
This brings us to the second issue which is the common take, take, take mentality with networking. We all have our own agenda and we are always pretty much looking for others to help with our agenda. If everyone has that mentality, nothing will ever get done, unless their agendas mutually coincide which is not really happening a majority of the time.
The obvious antidote is to give first, even if it seems it might take time or delay your own agenda. That’s not to say be a complete doormat but elicit what the other person’s agenda is and see how you can help them first. Time, energy, contacts, etc., are all resources that you can use to help the other person. It all plays nicely into the “what’s in it for me concept” that’s embedded in all people and when you offer first to help with whatever the other person’s agenda is, it becomes easier for them to reciprocate.
The last issue that most people forget to look at when it comes to networking is themselves. You have to develop yourself as a person. You’ve got to be the best person you can be and do the best work you can. Constantly improving yourself, in all aspects is crucial. If you’re the kind of person who’s not responsible, doesn’t really have anything to offer, can’t really connect with people, then networking serves no purpose to you because there’s nothing of value to network with. If you can’t work this simple foundation, networking is of no use.
It is what you know AND who you know, but who you know well. Who you have a quality relationship with to the point where they will gladly help you with your own agenda. Find the people who you wish to build these kinds of relationships with, nurture them, give whatever you can and work on yourself in the meantime. Everything else will take care of itself.
To learn more on how to effectively Network,
join our Audio Newsletter.
Building a Foundation for Network Success
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink | related link
Thursday, June 14, 200711:47 PM
In March 2007 my Father of 64 years, Steven Bartok spent his last few weeks in the Hospital...
We shared these days togther, remembering the wonderful episodes of a
Life Worth Living
A Dynamic Giving person, who came to this Country to realize a
Dream...
And he did.
What an inspiration for all who met Him..
Gracious, Giving and Fair.
The Following arrived Today and reminded so vividly of a Man of Conviction and a Man who knew how to GIVE...Steven James Bartok
1918-2007
MY DAD
By Kevin Spalding
My dad was one of the wisest, most compassionate and giving men I've ever known. Although not a man of great means, he endowed many lives with his encouragement, strength and hope. But then, Dad didn't preach, he just did.
One chilly fall evening in the late 1950's, Dad drove my visiting uncle across the Hudson River to the train station in Albany , NY for his return home. I didn't go with them because I was busy getting my diaper changed. As Dad said goodbye to my uncle, a bum approached him (yes, that's what panhandling, homeless men were called back then). The man was disheveled, with stubble beard and an ill fitting, dirty overcoat.
"Can you spare some change, bud?"
Dad didn't need his PhD in organic chemistry to determine from the man's odor what that change would be purchasing.
"No," he responded, "I won't give you any money, but I'll gladly buy you a sandwich and coffee."
As the two men sat in the snack bar nearby and talked, Dad asked, "So, do you have any family?"
"Yea, I got a brother in Boston ."
"Really, tell me about him."
"He's a priest. So what?"
"A priest, what church is he with and what's his name?"
After paying the bill and bidding the man farewell, Dad returned home armed with answers to those and a few more questions.
He then looked up the church in Boston and called long distance.back when "long distance calling" took more than small pocket change.
Dad gave the priest all the information he could about his brother.
A couple weeks later, Dad received a heartfelt, grateful letter from the man's sister thanking him for his saintly intervention. "Because of what you did," the letter said, "we have been reconnected with our brother from whom we had not heard in a long time. Thank you."
I have no idea what happened after that, but because Dad gave without expecting any repayment, one family had a real chance to heal.
My uncle who got the ride to the train station shared this story with me a few years back. But when I asked Dad about it he responded, "Kevin, I don't recall it."
Dad just gave expecting nothing in return. Because that's just who he was. He taught me again; in hindsight, that true giving is not a transaction. But, if given freely, one receives in return riches that money cannot buy.
Dad is no longer here in body. But in spirit, yes. When I reflect on this lesson occasionally, I look up and whisper, "Dad, I hope I can remember now."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kevin F. Spalding is a dynamic, personable and thought provoking speaker who challenges his audiences to rethink the way they have always done things to improve their productivity and the quality of their lives.
Kevin's broad, eclectic background has given him the opportunity to learn from the rigors of the military, the discipline of program management, the depth of spirituality and the challenges of parenthood. He brings lessons and principles from these and other domains in to "make sense," everyday tools and techniques that listeners can use to improve their perspectives and thus the quality of their lives.
Kevin can be reached at kevin@kevinspalding.com
Sent to you as a courtesy of...
Your friends at AsAManThinketh.net
For a free eBook of James Allens classic:
My Free Daily Insights
[ add comment ] | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink | related link
Tuesday, May 29, 200705:53 PM
Hello again Friends,
Just received this note from Tony Michalski, owner of
Kallisti Publishing
He is very active in our Focus Society of Overachievers
Here are Tony's Thoughts
Dear Chuck,
I live in the Northeast and I am happy to say that
Summer is HERE!
The weather has been wonderful and I
am finally getting a bunch of things done around the
yard.
Whilst doing all of that, I've been reading, as usual.
I came across a nice quote in a pretty popular book. Now,
here's the deal: I am going to put the quote here. The
FIRST PERSON to email to me who said it will receive a
book of their choice from the Kallisti Catalogue on me.
my E-mail tony@kallistipublishing.com
Ready? Here's the quote -
"Man's mind is his basic tool of survival.
Life is given to him, survival is not.
His body is given to him, its
sustenance is not.
His mind is given to him, its content
is not.
To remain alive, he must act, and before he can
act he must know the nature and purpose of his action.
He cannot obtain his food without a knowledge of food
and of the way to obtain it.
He cannot dig a ditch -
or build a cyclotron - without a knowledge of his aim
and of the means to achieve it.
To remain alive, he must
think.
"But to think is an act of choice.
The key to what you
so recklessly call 'human nature,' the open secret you
live with, yet dread to name, is the fact that man is
a being of volitional consciousness.
Reason does not
work automatically; thinking is not a mechanical process;
the connections of logic are not made by instinct.
The function of your stomach, lungs or heart is automatic;
the function of your mind is not.
In any hour and issue of your life, you are free to think or to evade that effort.
But you are not free to escape from your nature,
from the fact that reason is your means of survival -
so that for you, who are a human being, the question
'to be or not to be' is the question 'to think or not
to think.'"
There we have it! Once again, be the FIRST PERSON to email
to me who said that and you get a book of your choice.
ENJOY!
One more thing ... To everyone who is enjoying the MASTER
KEY SYSTEM, please do yourself a favour and get the
COMPLETE MASTER KEY COURSE. Here's the link -
Complete Master Key Course
Thank you and all the BEST! Good luck with the game.
Have fun... Tony M.
Thank you Tony and we hope you all tkae these words to heart
And enjoy Tony's Publications
[ 2 comments ] ( 7 views ) | [ 0 trackbacks ] | permalink | related link
Next
